Saturday morning mood and our brains as association machines

I recently watched this series on Netflix called “The Mind: Explained.” To start the episode about psychedelics, Emma Stone states, “Our minds are association machines.” Although I have no way of measuring this, I feel like my mind must make more associations than others. Maybe we all just don’t talk about it though. These are things you can’t talk about because they’d come out a jumbled mess anyway. Honestly, at least for my close friends and I, these are things that are just understood. Although maybe on a surface level. Being aware of these things isn’t the same as being wise to them, actually using the carry over and implementing them into your life. As much as our veins are like rivers and our nerves resemble galaxies, the more I dive into the things that interest me, the more interconnected it all becomes.

It’s like that saying, “How you do anything is how you do everything.” As much as I try to compartmentalize things, and as healthy as that can be in some situations, there is and always will be this undeniable truth that carries over in every circumstance. Shit, even compartmentalizing emotions is right in step with setting boundaries, which is needed in literally every aspect of our lives if we want to be balanced and healthy.

Have you read the Narnia series? When I was in boarding school we could only read Christian books, so I read the entire series front to back in an effort to escape. I loved these books but to be honest, the only thing I can really remember is the ending. To put it simply, in “The Last Battle,” there comes a point where all these different types have to take sides and the allegory is that no matter what religion you believe — whether you’re a Christian or a Buddhist or a Stoic, you’re all basically believing in the same thing through different lens. I don’t know if I can verbalize it well enough, and to be honest I am just typing off the top of my head here trying to get this out. All I am saying is that everything is the same.

It’s like why working out and taking care of your body is more than just those two things. It’s the carry over it has into the rest of your life. The patience it builds with yourself and others. The dedication it takes to do something when your motivation is low. The fact that all of these habits add up to make you the person you are.

It’s why having and overcoming an eating disorder of ten years taught me so much more than just how to have a healthy relationship with food. It taught me how to believe in myself, to just sit with myself when I am feeling impulsive. To watch my thoughts and reflect on them rather than reacting straight away.

It’s why going to AA would help someone with an eating disorder. Why the relationship with my dad likely hinders my relationship with men. Why the way we attach to others is likely the way we attach to our parents. Why meditation makes me a better friend. How telling you that you make me want to stand up straighter is the same as telling you that you make me a better person. Why we can rewire our brain with meditation the same way that we can rewire our movement with mobility. Why the eastern model of medicine is superior. It’s why people like you as much as you like you. It’s why we attract the things we attract.

It’s energy.

This only scratches the surface. Hopefully one day I can compactly write everything I’m thinking to make it more meaningful. To be honest though, I don’t know if that’s possible for me. My brain flits from one thing to the next like this, yet there is so much to unpack.

Everything is the same. Everything carries over.