Consider an activity you dislike. Pay attention to 3 novel features of this activity while you do it.
As I read through my character strengths the other day, the above activity really stood out in my mind. When I applied the above to a run that I was particularly not enjoying, it humored me because I couldn’t recall what character strength the exercise was supposed to go with. Was it curiosity, was it appreciation of beauty and excellence? Or was it gratitude? I found that the more novel things I began to notice, the more appreciation I had for the beautiful things around and within me, and consequentially, the more grateful I became. It’s not until I got back and perused the Via Character site again that I saw it was curiosity that I was targeting. Still, I can’t deny that they are all interconnected.
Here are the novel things I took note of:
First of all, this exercise was a bit difficult for someone who’s mind never really stops because I found it somewhat difficult to notice novel things about the actual activity, rather than just being completely in my head where there seems to be a constant stream of new ideas, questions and emotions.
The first thing I noticed was this area on the beach where seagulls always congregate. I have no idea why that is their spot, but it just is. There were probably about 300 or so just yapping away, and as someone who really dislikes seagulls, I found it surprising that there was a couple who had set their beach chairs up directly within the seagull’s area. Like…. why?
I found this amusing and it made me appreciate the variety in preferences that people have. Not only meaning how much they prefer annoying birds, but also in deeper ways. Like physical attractiveness, or individual food palates. It really makes you consider and appreciate the fact that there really is something for everyone. That you could be someone’s dream, even if you don’t see it yourself.
The second novel thing I became aware of on my run was my breath. I should probably mention here that I also went on this run without my phone, something I rarely do. Because of this, I was able to really hear and concentrate on my breathing. This notice of my breath brought up a book I’ve been reading by Laird Hamilton called Liferider. Laird is a big wave surfer and pioneer of water sports. In his book he goes slightly over my head talking about breath work and how it is directly connected to our heartbeats. I mean, no shit. But as I ran along, working hard to control my huffing and puffing, I considered the ability of breathing techniques to change our moods. To help stop us in our tracks when we are going towards something within us that is unfavorable.
That was the first time I understood the significance of how we can manipulate the environment within us by using our breath.
I’ve heard of a few people talk about breath work, and to be honest I have always kinda just pushed it under the rug. But now I think perhaps it could really be useful to me. I think manipulating my internal environment could be the perfect way to reset myself when I need it most. When I am anxious or unsure of myself.
The third novel thing I noticed was something I more or less knew, but haven’t necessarily put into practice enough to become wise to it. A few years ago, I read this article on Medium titled, “If it doesn’t suck, it’s not worth doing.” The most distinguishing part of this article was the notion of finding a perverse pleasure in obstacles. Maybe I just love alliteration, but as I ran up that hill yesterday, there was a part of me that wanted to stop. But there was a greater part of me who could only hear the words “perverse pleasure” radiating through my brain with every thud my feet made on the pavement.
Perverse pleasure. Perverse pleasure. Perverse pleasure.
Doing this made me realize both my ability to delay gratification, and to sacrifice what I want in the moment for what I want in the future. Because of that, I gained confidence within myself to apply that feature in other areas of my life. Or at least to strive to — to use yesterday’s run as a beacon of hope for the future.
So that when my mind wants to default to lazy or uninspired, I can push through for something better.
It was a beautiful run.
Additional thought:
As I was walking back to the boat I’m staying on, I saw this little girl playing with the seagulls. (Again, Yuck.) It reminded me of this time I was a kid at the beach and I got stung by a jelly fish. I remember my mom holding me in her arms and us eating vanilla wafers. The weird thing is that I remember wondering if I deserved to be held and comforted. Which is a pretty odd thing for a child to wonder. I don’t know why I thought like that, but I also don’t know if I think a child ever should think like that. A child shouldn’t have a hard time accepting themselves as being needy when they’re hurt. It was an interesting thought though, because it made me wonder if my inability to feel like I deserve things is the root of my issues. And is that inability causing me to act on ways that reinforce it? To self sabotage.
Just a thought. I really enjoyed this exercise.