It’s hilarious how bad we are at predicting our happiness as humans. So often, I dread something only to end up thoroughly enjoying it.
I recently jumped back on the Science of Well-being bandwagon. If you haven’t been following, it’s this quite popular online psychology class that Yale University offers for free. I feel like I had a hard time logging in for a bit because a lot of the videos are geared towards college students (duh), and I felt like learning about why hyper-focusing on “getting good grades” just wasn’t really important for me.
Shocker, I was wrong.
I’m glad I recently started the class again, because as the beginning of the course burned into my brain, “Knowing is not half the battle.” This is something I have been aware of for quite some time, as I have scolded myself for being so good at studying, yet so cautious when it comes to implementing. Knowledge without experience is useless, and wisdom can only be attained through integrating what you learn into your life and learning from mistakes.
Anyway, I’m on week five of the course and the video lesson I want to talk about is called “Good Grades.” You can probably see from the title why I didn’t click play so quickly.
However! I think this lesson has been the most helpful for me. I needed the structured reminder of the what it means to have a growth mindset compared to a fixed mindset — the value of intrinsic reward versus extrinsic reward.
When you have a fixed mindset, you are using extrinsic motivation to earn external rewards/avoid punishments. But with a growth mindset, you are engaging in behaviors because of the activity itself. I guess this is what’s wrong with the school system these days. Not having tailored education teaches children to earn good grades — to study solely for the test. I was definitely guilty of this growing up, as quite frankly I don’t really remember anything useful from school.
Basically, those with a growth mindset view intelligence as something that can be trained and improved with hard work. Most importantly, they view effort as a good thing, and instead of paying attention to their mistakes, they view them solely as a means to improve.
Lately I have been studying for my personal training certification. Sometimes I get kinda down on myself, because I don’t grasp some of the concepts right away. I’m such a meticulous person when it comes to things that I really care about. I want to truly understand information so that I can use it.
I’ve never taken an anatomy class or anything, but I predict that one of the most valuable things I can learn for my future career (yikes) is going to be the muscles of the body and exactly how they pull on bones and work together. Lately, I’ve been overwhelmed with all of the medical terms, thinking — well maybe I’m just not smart enough.
What a ridiculous thing to think. Even typing it out makes me laugh. Enter this timely Yale video — the perfect reminder of what it means to have a growth mindset.
As usual, I relate everything I learn to health and fitness.
So often during recovery from my eating disorder, I have felt completely hopeless about my ability to change. Whether it be something physical I do, or just something mental that I end up ruminating on. I think what has helped me most though throughout the years is changing the way I think about things. Instead of thinking something like, “Wow, I feel terrible. I’m so unhappy. Why can’t I stick to my goals, blah blah blah,” I now say to myself without judgement, “Hmm. That happened. What can I learn from it? I can use this feeling to get better.” Which is a growth mindset!
There’s just so much power in taking the expectation out of things.
It’s just like when Mindpump Sal talks about focusing on health instead of aesthetics. The beautiful thing is that focusing on your health brings you good aesthetics. It just happens as a byproduct. Focusing on fueling your body right and getting stronger will give you the body you want. Focusing on external things, like the scale, will only end up undermining your true potential.
Those with a growth mindset capitalize on mistakes. It’s almost like when you hear people say, “Focus on the good, and the good gets better.” It’s so cliche, but it’s true. If we continually seek out the good in our lives, if we focus on what we want instead of what we don’t want (easier said than done, I know), we end up attracting better. There is immense power in viewing our mistakes as part of the journey, rather than something that defines us.
Our minds can be our best alley if we let them. Our brains constantly look for ways to make situations better if we actively desire. As I said at the beginning, we mis-predict things all the time. We think we’ll be embarrassed or upset if we fail, but the truth is we won’t. It’ll happen and we will get used to it and move on. Our minds will look for ways to comfort us and we will grow. And rather than others judging us, which we so often fear, they’ll really just end up relating to us.
Failing is human. Most people understand that, and the ones that don’t aren’t going anywhere.
Peace!