Somewhat cynical thoughts I have about love

People always pay attention at first.
I love people so hard that A) They may only love me because of the way I make them feel B) Eventually the sacrifices that no one asked me to make in the first place go unappreciated and I get blue.
I will build up someone I love so much that they will start to feel like they can’t live up to the version of them that I have created in my head. This will stress them out.
Some people can’t get too close to others because once they do it makes who they are very real. All of their small, bad habits rise to the top, and when someone else is close enough to you to see that, it can be a shock to the image of yourself you have unknowingly worked so hard to create — and realize that you aren’t. This isn’t about someone being a good person or not. It’s about them not being where they want to be — based on their own perception. I change tenses a lot here I think, soz.
Love is never enough.
Many problems in relationships stem from attachment styles to both partner’s parents. It can be hard not to take this personally.
Talking about those attachment styles is how you get close to someone. I feel like this is most evident in my relationships with my best friends. When we talk about the things we never realized about our parents/families as kids, and how it affected us then, and what it means looking back on it — that’s when we bond the most. Experiences with someone matter, but these deeper things are very important. They help you understand the person you love.
Caring more about someone than you care about yourself not only never works, but will make you both miserable. It also is you teaching yourself where you belong.
It is very scary to lose your sense of autonomy within a relationship, but it is inevitable to a degree — just a phase I think. This may be when you decide to either grow together, or grow apart. This has potential to be the worst part. Or the best.
Labels are scary, but eventually become necessary. Labeling something makes it real. It’s Peter Pan bullshit to run away from this. (Although I admit I’m idealistic and my ideal relationship would be not needing to really discuss such labels.)
Love goes through stages and adjusting to them without good communication can be difficult.
An over-thinker should date a great communicator.
You will never see a relationship and its strengths and weaknesses correctly. Even in hindsight. Surrender that.
Falling in love with someone does not happen every day. You will find yourself not being attracted to people who “check all of your boxes” — people you know you should like. There is literally some sort of cosmic element to this. A vibration that can not be explained. Which is actually the most mysterious and awe-inspiring part. 🙂
Love can heal you, even if it doesn’t last.
I don’t want to date someone who has always been good. I want to date someone who has experienced the alternative lure of power and deceit, and has come to understand on their own terms that there is a much more powerful and fulfilling role for them.
Love is this weird illusion that makes you feel like you’re not alone in this world, that you’re seen and heard. It’s almost comical because you are definitely alone. You will definitely die alone. I’ve said this before, but although you need no specific person in life, you do need everyone. So you’re also not alone. But you are. You get it.
Love can become like an addiction ( I mean this is super evident in studies about what happens in the brain when we fall in love — the rise of dopamine, the fall of serotonin), and addiction is a slow narrowing of what brings you joy.
Love is kinda like clothing. You buy a hoodie that you love and you wear it all of the time, and think, “Wow, I am never going to get rid of this.” Then you get sick of it and you think about giving it to Goodwill. Then eventually you come back around and think, “Wow, this hoodie has been with me for so long. I really appreciate it.” It’s dumb.
Love is a responsibility, and because of that it has the ability to make your life deeply meaningful. It’s not easy, but if it was it wouldn’t be as magical.
Love is expansive. Have you ever heard of a mom who is having a second kid worry about whether she will be able to love her second child as much as she does her first? I’m sure I saw this in a movie at some point. The parents can’t imagine loving anyone as much as they do their current child. And then the second child arrives, and they realize that there’s no limit to love. That it is expansive. That loving someone so completely doesn’t mean you can’t love another. I scares me to say that this is true for more than just the child-parent relationship, but I think it is. Love is expansive.